Ten Commandments For Raising Juvenile Delinquents
- Do not condemn tobacco, liquor, drugs, the theater, the TV, gambling, jazz or rock music, long hair, miniskirts, and the like, so that your children will not become inhibited.
- When your daughter comes home at midnight or your son arrives during the wee hours of the morning, do not ask where they had been or who had been their companions, so that you so not violate the privacy of their personal affairs.
- Do not unbent from your parental dignity by engaging in such childish activities as playing with your children or discussing with them their plans, problems, or pleasures, so that they will not develop security, affection, or trust in you.
- Do not waste time in family picnics, camping, vacations, or in taking your children to the zoo, the museum, the art gallery, the concerts, or to any other cultural places, so that you can use all your precious time in reaching the top most rung of the ladder in your chosen profession.
- Give your children as much money as you possibly can for their needs as well as for their imaginary wants, so that they will learn the fine art of ostentatious spending and conspicuous consumption.
- Surround your children with servants who are always ready to respond to their slightest back and call, and do not let your children do any work that will soil their beautiful soft hands, so that they will grow up to become dignified ladies and gentlemen.
- When your children get into trouble with your neighbors, the school authorities, or the police, be sure always to side with your children, so that they will know that you really love them.
- Send your children only to non-sectarian schools, so that they will get-rounded education when they are exposed to evolution, humanism, spiritism, liberalism, or atheism.
- Do not mince words when you discuss your doubts regarding your table conversations so that your children will see that you are a parent with an independent mind. Or, better yet, criticize, the preacher, for the best dish you can serve for Sabbath or Sunday dinner is roasted pastor.
- Conduct family worship only once in a while when it is convenient, or even eliminate it completely, so that your children will not get tired with too much religious instruction.
Then prepare yourself for a heart-rending grief as faithful obedience to these commandments guarantees 100 percent success in raising juvenile delinquents.
